No Need to Fit In!

People trying to decide if I’m the right guide for them often say, “I’m eclectic, so I don’t know if I’ll fit into what you teach.”


Detail. Faerie Realm, silk painting, Francesca De Grandis

Oh dear! It is terrible that the prevalence of bad teachers requires that issue to even come up.

Most of my students are eclectic. I am, too. Those who look for the core of reality, the heart of magic, and the essence of mysticism do not want to be boxed in by labels (Wicca, hedge witch, Druid, Taoist, Christian), and are not looking for ego-feeding titles. They are drawn to teachers who, whatever their path, support students to find their own idea—and experience—of the core of reality, heart of magic, and essence of mysticism. I hope I’m one such teacher.image

During our lessons, we transcend labels and titles, to focus on finding our individual beliefs, personal myths, and shamanic gifts. If folks already have them, I help them polish their personal approach, even if they’re already master level.

Magic, Spirit, and life cannot be standardized.

I do tend to call my classes “Wicca” or “Faerie.” I’m of the generation in which “Wicca” and “Faerie” referred to (among other things) individualized earth-spirituality. Unfortunately, nowadays, those terms are often used rigidly, to denote a set liturgy and belief system, which invalidates many beautiful Gaia lovers.

You’re not alone if you’ve faced invalidation. When first teaching (eek, that was in the eighties!), I thought I knew the one true way. Then I realized my students were my peers and fellow travelers. Guess what? After explaining I wld no longer support a hierarchy, imageI lost many of my students, they migrated to a fundie tradition of fey magic. I was devastated, stunned that people I loved—many of these were my beloved initiates—could not make that move with me, that attempt at being egoless. It was, and still is, painful to see ego takes precedence over ethics, effective magic, fey sensibilities, and beauty. But I mention my experience because it might be validating for folks who went through something similar. Ok, enough negative stuff. To quote “Buffy, “not for me the furrowed brow.”

Onto the rest of my beautiful day—my Gods’ embrace, a flow of joy, magic, and right livelihood, a flow carrying me toward even more joy, magic, and right livelihood. I hope this post is validating and/or, if you’re considering me as a guide, informative.

Want shamanic counseling? I can guide by phone. Book an appointment online.

4 thoughts on “No Need to Fit In!

  1. Excellent essay ; here’s the rule of thumb I’ve always used . Whenever ANYONE tells me that they have all the answers I duck and run ! Very bad juju ; bad for Big Chief , bad for tribe . Hope you’re well . Talk to you soon ; still a basket case .

    • O honey, I love you. Be assured, i have no judgement re you being a basket case, grieving is not a quick process, by any means. So feel free to call me if you want, I will not judge. As to essay, thank you for yr supportive post, so much.

  2. Great post Francesca! This is one of the reasons I work with you. Even though I have my own beliefs and paradigm, your way of teaching really transcends all of that and allows me to get deeper into my own journey.

    • Thanks, Jenn. Thank you! People like you, who start their own business, and homestead, or do other stuff that requires being self-referential, understand inner authority doesn’t obviate the need for mentorship. It breaks my heart when someone is not ready to take responsibility for their own life, but I treat them as an equal, and they get angry, projecting onto me all sorts of stuff that everyone else in class can see I’m not doing. I hurt for them, and wish I could help. They long for egalitarianism and mutual respect but, trapped in their past, are unable to recognize it, no matter how much I would give it to them, so there is no way I can even start to help them shift their pain. These folks are beautiful and deep but, not growing past that one block, cannot move forward in many areas. On a lighter but related note, just for fun, did you see “How to Tell if Someone Is a Grown Up” at ?

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