Claiming My Power as a Trauma Survivor

I can act effectively in crisis only if I’m doing shamanic practices on a regular basis.

There are times survival takes every single ounce of one’s time. And it’s vital to do everything one can on the mundane plane to take care of a crisis. But, when crisis looms, I have the self-destructive knee-jerk response of automatically focusing solely on survival. I’ve learned that usually does not turn out well, not for me.

So I choose to instead focus on staying balanced, serene, and connected to my Gods in order to receive Their power and guidance. To accomplish all that, I need a lot of time for my shamanic practices and have to use a crisis as an opportunity for spiritual and shamanic growth.

If I, instead, frantically chase after money, security, a resolution of crisis, etc., then the money, resolution, security, etc., don’t manifest anyway. If I stay on my shamanic journey, then money, resolution, security etc., come.

When crisis hits, I need shamanism more than ever.

Historically speaking, shamanism as a means for healing from trauma—and keeping a disaster from damaging one’s psyche—has been a cultural norm. It has surely been a means for my survival and wholeness in rough times.

Shamans have also, since ancient times, used their traumas—even the worst traumas—as irreplaceable chances to manifest great magical and mundane power. This was surely my own experience.

After 9/11 traumatized U.S. citizens, and our government used that tragedy as an excuse to further traumatize us, enrollment in the shamanic classes I teach dropped for a while. When crisis hits, or appears as a possibility, some people believe they can’t afford the time or money for their shamanic training. They don’t understand that continuing their training can be pivotal to overcoming crisis. I provide scholarships, yet few people requested one in the year after 9/11.

One power of being a trauma survivor, for me, is that overcoming disasters left me with shamanic tools I can apply during this brutal administration. Another power is that I’ve learned the need for complete focus on survival is often a mirage. Mind you, I know it’s not always a mirage. But when it has been an illusion, living in that lie almost destroyed me. I’m lucky to be alive, considering what a lifestyle of overwork and worry did to my health.

“Long-term trauma” (LTT) is a worse diagnosis than post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Examples of an ordeal that causes LTT: being kidnapped and held hostage for years; and being married to a batterer for years. Quite a while ago, I suffered LTT. Not to worry, I took the necessary steps to be on the other side of that now, happy and whole. It’s all behind me. I bring up the diagnosis only to point out:

As someone who used Fey-touched tools to survive longterm horrors and come out the other side whole in spirit, I learned that serenity is possible during a horrific situation. Not always, for sure, but tranquility is not constant even in the best of circumstances. Though peace is often impossible when first in a terrible crisis, knowing that peace can develop—albeit sometimes only painstakingly in minuscule increments—is a power I’ve gained from being a trauma survivor.

When I create a calm place inside myself, I find strength and wisdom there to change a situation.

My familiar hangs out with a poppet. I made it probably in the ‘80s.

Like many survivors, I’ve been triggered by recent national events. Like many individuals, I started having trauma symptoms in response to national events. But now, screw Trump, screw his ilk. I decided I don’t have time to let fascists’ behavior traumatize me anymore. I’m doing everything in my power to keep their behavior from getting to me mentally anymore.

I affirm: They no longer will have space in my head. Heck, I’ve known all along that what’s going on in America right now is nothing new. That’s an advantage I have from being a trauma survivor. The horrific injustices currently widespread in our country are what I observed as a child in the ‘50s and throughout my whole life. I suffered terribly from some of these things My point is that what’s going on has been happening since humans first congregated, so I don’t have to lose my mind over it, but can carry on the same way I did the day before Trump got elected—fighting against such atrocities and living my life with joy.

I affirm: I can feel my indignation, rage, and even terror, but not sit in them. I can simply feel them, and then move on to feel my joy and love.

I affirm: Living in terror and rage would keep me from maximum effectiveness as an agent of change in the world. I want to help individuals upon whom horrors are being perpetrated, so I feel my indignation and rage, but do not reside in them.

In this post, I speak only for myself and of my experiences. I want every trauma survivor to find what works for them. So I support those who say a constant rage helps them fight oppression, even though that wouldn’t work for me. I used to walk around angry all day. That hurt my health and made me miserable.

Though I didn’t take my anger out on other people, furious thoughts consumed my mind, time, and energy, distracting me from doing what was needed to be as happy and productive as I became when I let go of constant angriness. Now, with less anger, I’m more likely to take positive action, more effective when I do so, and experience life’s joys more.

Wee shaman

Back to the idea that what’s going on in America is nothing new. I’ve physically, emotionally, and spiritually survived grueling ordeals that started in childhood. Some of these situations were next to impossible to survive, let alone survive spiritually whole. But I did it. For various reasons, I’m a person at risk in Trump’s America. Yet, because of the traumas I’ve gotten through in the past, I know how to find joy, peace, and beauty in my day now.

A few weeks ago, the current events in our country stopped triggering and traumatizing me anywhere near as much because I started taking advantage of being a trauma survivor in the ways I’ve described above.

In other words, I remembered that I’ve been through all this before, that I survived it, and that the horrors reported on the news every day have consistently been part of human society. I reminded myself that I learned tools to overcome crisis, shamanic tools that can keep me whole so I can enjoy my life and keep fighting oppression. I affirmed my commitment to devote as much time possible every day to shamanic practices and to spiritual and shamanic growth.

My shamanism centered me again, moving me miles toward inner wholeness. I intend to keep that movement going till I feel back to normal and then maintain that state through an ongoing abundance of shamanic practices.

I don’t bury my head in the sand about what’s going on in the world or what risks I am in. However, constantly thinking about the terrible state of humanity, or what bad things are happening to me, or that might happen to me, or the very real fact that I may not survive this current administration, will help ensure I don’t survive because unceasing worry would hurt my body badly. For one thing, the stress of nonstop worry exacerbates Multiple Sclerosis symptoms.

I will think about terrible things only to the degree needed, e.g., to minimize my risk, to change bad situations for myself and others, to discuss with my students the problems they face. Today, I signed up to be a phone volunteer for the upcoming elections. That felt great.

Nightmare monsters hide under my bed. They’re close by, threatening, trying to freak me out. I refuse to dwell on them. I prefer to use my time and the spaces in my head to celebrate existence and see its beauty.

If I focus on my shamanic practices and inner growth, I have the strength and bravery to not take the bait—in other words, to not freak out when monsters taunt me with cruel words—and to instead enjoy life.

I’m getting into top form for battling monsters. Staying serene and joyful and in pursuit of beauty help me achieve—and remain in—top form. Vehemently, passionately serene. Joyfully, loudly seeking beauty. So mote it be!

Online Course: Holiday Magic

HlidaMagcEnjoy the holidays, Pagan style. To make your season happy, abundant, safe, sacred, sane, and magical, this course has five powerful aspects. You receive:

WhtSnoflkOne) Weekly lessons. Each lesson is a digital Book of Shadows entry (PDF), ornamented by my seasonal shamanic art, which makes the Book of Shadows a cherished tradition in the years ahead.

I boiled lessons down to their essence, so they tend to be easy and accessible. They include:

* simple quick spells, prayers, and affirmations, to nourish, energize, and inspire you during the holidays.

* fun holiday crafts and decorations, Pagan-style. Use common household items to make enchanted seasonal decor: charms for just about anything you might wish. Children enjoy these crafts. Also discover how typical American holiday decorations can be used in spellwork.

* Special rituals: experience the Winter Goddess’ sacred realm. Center into wholeness and joy. Enjoy the season’s spiritual beauty. Rites include a star-drenched Faerie Solstice celebration.

* Lots of material to choose from. Pick what you want to use this year and enjoy the rest for many years to come. The course includes powerful Fey-touched material I’ve not published till now.

Instead of your having to search online for fun or meaningful activities, I’ll deliver them to you. Enjoy unique material not available elsewhere. (And this course is a way better use of computer time than social media overdosing or too much digital window-shopping.)

PnkSnoflkTwo) Magical decor: eight digital full-color amulets—my original Pagan art—for harmony, success, and more. Print and cut out to hang on your Yule tree or elsewhere in your home. Four of the amulets’ designs are suitable to display all four seasons, for yearlong blessings.

WhtSnoflkThree) Six audio recordings made especially for this course. Hearing spoken word can be enchanting, and a way you and I can be in sacred space together. So I recite excerpts of the weekly lessons. One recording will be part of the Yule ritual.

PnkSnoflkFour) I’m available by phone for up to 45 minutes. If you have questions about the material, need support because your commitment to doing the lessons falters, want to further explore a particularly tantalizing part of the curriculum, or have other concerns, feel free to phone.

You can divide the 45 minutes into two or three conversations. Conversations must occur during the span of the course or within a month after.

WhtSnoflkFive) Exclusive offer: I’m giving a five-day direct spiritual transmission during Solstice week. Cost for individuals not enrolled in this class is $100. You can receive the transmission for $40—less than half price. This Yule blessing heals inner blocks that sabotage your happiness, is a spiritually rejuvenation, and helps center you into what’s truly important to you. These benefits can last for months, if not years.

StarSwirl3November is a turning point in the Pagan calendar. The course starts November 3, with your first lesson. You receive one lesson a week by email for 11 weeks. That will bring us halfway into January.

Post-Solstice lessons provide spells for a great 2018. You also learn how to work with mystical energies that occur in the weeks immediately after Solstice. Years ago, I noticed those energies and spent goodly hours developing related shamanic modalities for significant self-empowerment. Most of the post-Solstice material has remained unpublished till now.

If an unexpected event makes me unable to send one week’s planned material, I’ll extend the course an extra week.

Tuition is $250. Scroll down to pay securely with PayPal:

Enter your phone number. In the drop down menu, you can choose to receive the Yule spiritual transmission.


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No experience needed. But even advanced practitioners will enjoy this. If you need more info, or want to discuss scholarship, trade, or payment plan, call 814-337-2490. No refunds. My online courses aren’t transcriptions of oral tradition lessons. I teach oral tradition by phone. The online courses are special unto themselves—magic tailored to be spectacularly useful, exciting, effective, and safe when learned online.

La Vecchia Religione

LVROnline Course:
La Vecchia Religione—
An Inside View of Traditional Italian Witchcraft

“La Vecchia Religione” is Italian for “The Old Religion” and refers to the traditional practices of a strega. “Strega” translates into “witch.”

I was born into a Italian shamanic family tradition that dates back hundreds of years. Our family has many magics. This online course focuses on one of the most pivotal. Traditional magic is taught contextually, so lessons also provide a mystical overview of La Vecchia Religione.

The Strega practice we’ll focus on is considered the most advanced magic possible, can magnificently improve every aspect of life, yet is accessible to a magical beginner.

stregamoonThis course has five powerful aspects:

One) Weekly lessons received by email. Each lesson is a digital Book of Shadows entry (PDF).

Storytelling relays a great deal of the course’s information, making lessons easy and fun for you. I’ll share my personal tales of being in an Italian shamanic family tradition.

stregaroseI’ll add other relevant chronicles, too, as well as additional material needed to understand the aforementioned pivotal strega practice and traditional Italian witchcraft as a whole.

La Vecchia Religione is a shamanic path. Some shamans invoke magic simply through their personal, quite human stories. If you want strega magic, it’s in such stories.

Your reading this course’s stories, with no more effort on your part than when you read a fantasy novel, magically transforms every part of your life—large improvements everywhere. After the course, a special enchantment remains available forever to continue creating numerous, marvelous changes for you.

Benefits of merely reading the stories:

* You automatically start becoming a new you, with greater wholeness of being and peace. You notice your power growing magically and in other parts of your life, so you have better access to all the inner resources needed to reach your life goals.

* Your circumstances automatically start improving. Your most cherished goals become more viable and attainable.

* The stories transport you to a Fey-touched realm. And this course’s stories are true-life Faerie tales with real magic that helps you live in your own special Faerie tale: dreams can come true.

Our lessons will bring us into the presence of Diana Magna Mater (Great Mother Goddess). She gave humankind magic so we can live free and prosperously, overcoming challenges, including liberating ourselves from oppression. She will protect and guide us in our journey.

Lessons also provide easy shamanic exercises that reinforce the tales’ enchantments and deepen your relationship to them.

stregamoonTwo) My full-color art ornaments the PDF Book of Shadows pages, including new paintings created especially for this course. I joyfully painted for ages to create fifty new page ornamentations specifically for these lessons! I wanted imagery to convey the enchantment of Italian sorcery.

Three) Nine audio files recorded expressly for this course. The spoken word is a way you and I can be in sacred space together. So I recite excerpts of the PDFs.

stregamoonFour) Two fun, easy crafts projects. I’m thrilled about my Pagan-style craft ideas because they’re sooo magical: they help you experience the power of Italian witchery, deepen the magical journey, and increase its benefits. I’ve never seen anything like these projects, and I’m not going to say here what they are, heh. They’re special, and I’m saving them for you.

I painted art specially for these projects, making your part easy: you receive full-color digital files of my Pagan art, so you only need to print the artwork and follow a few simple instructions. I can barely wait for you to have the art! Heck, I’m chomping at the bit, waiting for you to have the rest of the course, too.

stregamoonFive) One-on-one support. I’m available by phone for up to 45 minutes. If you have questions about the material, need help because your commitment to doing the lessons falters, want to further explore a particularly tantalizing part of the curriculum, or have other concerns, feel free to phone.

You can divide the 45 minutes into two or three conversations. Conversations must occur during the span of the course or within a month after.

stregarose2I love integrating my art into my writing. Ditto creating audio portions and being available by phone. The five parts of the course (text, art, audio, etc.,) weave together to take you on a mystical journey into the heart of Italian witchery. During it, along with the benefits already listed:

* You gain confidence in your own journey—its spiritual, magical, and mundane aspects.

* You find confidence in yourself, just as you are, right now.

* Important insights come to you—wisdom needed to get the maximum out of life.

* You claim your birthright—your heritage of magic and wildness as a Fey-touched child of the Old Gods.

In addition to being transformative, this journey is core to understanding Italian witchcraft as a whole. In other words, along with improving your life, the journey is also an experiential lesson that conveys a mystical overview of: traditional Italian witchcraft as a magical culture, its otherworldly sensibilities, and its history.

stregarose3Though they impart an overview and history, lessons are easy, not like reading a textbook. This is not dry history, not dry material, not a dreary recitation of facts, charts, and lists that you have to memorize, plod your way through, or otherwise labor over. You experience La Vecchia Religione in your spirit.

This look into my family’s magic is traditional Italian shamanism no one else teaches. A lot of this is material I’ve never taught until now.

stregastarThe course starts April 30, with your first lesson. You receive one lesson a week by email for 11 weeks.

If an unexpected event makes me unable to send one week’s planned material, I’ll extend the course an extra week.

Tuition is $250. Scroll down to pay securely with PayPal:




No experience needed. But even advanced practitioners will enjoy this. If you need more info, or want to discuss scholarship, trade, or payment plan, call 814-337-2490. No refunds. My online courses aren’t transcriptions of oral tradition lessons. (I teach oral tradition by phone.) The online courses are special unto themselves—magic tailored to be spectacularly effective, relevant, exciting, and safe when learned online.

Kitchen Moon

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If you can’t see the graphic at the top of this post, here’s its text and photo:

You Needn’t Leave Yourself to Find Magic
Diana Magna Mater Is Everpresent

KitchenMnSm

After glancing down into my sink, I was thrilled by what I saw there, snapped the above photo of it, and wrote the following:

Quarter moon tide does not arrive pounding at my winter door, but sneaks into my kitchen sink, as clever as steam.

Moon tides are everywhere—dark moon tides, whole moon tides, quarter moon tides. That is my safety, solace, and soul: moon tides are everywhere.

You need not leave yourself to find magic. To walk into Fey lands, walk into yourself, just as you are; live there; you can then recognize the entry to Faerie.

Be a Goddess Master Class

A Six-Week Shamanic Training:
Acquire magical and mundane abilities to match any challenge or opportunity.
Open to all
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Feeling powerless? This class will change that.

Already have plenty of power? Rock on! And if you’re not achieving everything you want, take the next step.

You only need one of the following prerequisites:
* completion of the first 12 lessons in my book Be a Goddess!
* completion of first 8 lessons in my book Goddess Initiation
* one of the entry-level classes in the Mystic Rose branch of Third Road

Students need both books on hand during class, for reference purposes. You only need to have read what was required to fulfill one of the above prerequisites.

Been a long time since you’ve read the book you used? That doesn’t matter.

Click here to enroll in the Be a Goddess Master Class.

FaerieRlmWetWPnk99Many readers say Be a Goddess! and/or Goddess Initiation empower them still, even after decades. I’m humbled by their words.

You may be working on different things now, internally and externally, than when you first used one or both of those books. And you’re a different person now.

And my work is tried and true. Build on your past achievements with it to meet your current needs. Here’s how we’ll do that in the Be a Goddess Master Class:

PastelSqThe books’ magic has unpublished facets that are more advanced. They can meet who you are now, in whatever circumstances you’re in now. I’ll teach you that material. The tools you know will acquire a deeper layer of power, which you can apply to your current situations.

You also learn new techniques. Having one of the prerequisites gives you a shamanic foundation, so we can immediately dive into ultra-focused lessons between the worlds. The benefits? Sky’s the limit! I’ll show you how to apply tools from the books—as well as the new tools I teach you!—for whatever you need: prosperity, creativity, or anything else.

Traditional shamanic lessons include individualized attention, which tailors the training to you. Both beginners and adepts love this class. Make real headway in your goals.

Every meeting includes direct spiritual transmissions that increase your magical and mundane abilities to take control of your life.

Also, you receive the following benefits. And, if you’ve accomplished them already, this Master Class helps you do it more so:
* Strengthen your inner guide.
* Honor the deity within.
* Experience profound soul-healing.
* Serve all our relations.
* Ignite the fey-touched joy that makes life worth living.

BaGMCGreenManDon’t spin your wheels with run-of-the-mill material. Be a Goddess Master Class is a circle of power. Expect twice the progress in a fraction of the time you’d spend elsewhere.

Offered once a year at most, this Faerie shamanism training is core Third Road (Third Road is the tradition I teach), and is a prerequisite for Third Road advanced training.

Nuts and bolts:
* Lessons are group meetings by phone. To participate, just dial the phone. Long-distance charges may apply. If so, charges appear on your phone bill. The event’s area code is a U.S. #.
* Class meets six consecutive Wednesdays from 6:00 to 7:00 pm EST, starting Wednesday May 17.
* Reserve Weds June 28, same time, for a makeup class in case I’m unavailable for one of the planned sessions.
* Click here to enroll.
* If you’ve taken this class before, repeat it at half-price.
* Upon receipt of payment, your place is reserved. You’ll receive event phone #, etc., by email. If you need more info, or want to discuss scholarship, trade, or payment plan, call 814-337-2490. No refunds.

Life is extraordinarily beautiful and extraordinarily awful. We don’t have to bury our heads in the sand. We can use shamanism to face difficulties, conquer them, and create beautiful lives. Click here to enroll.

Upcoming Event: the Old Ones

Starts November 28

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Some individuals interested in The Love-Witch (a two-month Faerie ceremony I’m currently leading) can’t attend its meetings and asked for an alternative. I felt my Gods were talking through them.

So I worked out something that has some of The Love-Witch ceremony’s energy but does not require meetings. Here’s what I’ve set up for them and you:

Receive three yummy magics:

1) Long-distance direct spiritual transmissions for two months! The transmissions help you center into your love, gentleness, compassion, playfulness, pleasure, and beauty. They are supple, unconquerable magics that help you:

* Reach goals your heart longs for.

* Make the world a better place.

* Enjoy wonderful self-care.

Over the two months, the more you’re centered into those magics, the more they’ll automatically align you with the enchantments that surround you every moment. Those enchantments are Divine Love, the most potent magic of all, and it takes care of you even when you’re not doing spells.

The transmissions also help you:

* Give yourself all the loving care, compassion, and joy you readily give everyone else.

* Be immune to cynics, greedy people, and others who fight Love. Protect yourself, make boundaries, and, undeterred by discouragers, move powerfully through the world as an agent of love.

* Be happy and free, as your spiritual beauty radiates to illuminate your life and the world.

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You receive the direct spiritual transmissions three days a week, for two months! You don’t have to do anything for the transmissions to work. I do the work for you.

2) Centering emails: I call someone a “Love-Witch” if they believe love, gentleness, compassion, playfulness, pleasure, and beauty are magic. Every other week, you receive an email that supports the Love-Witch in you. The emails discuss some of the issues I mentioned the direct spiritual transmissions focusing on.

3) Both months, you receive a different full-color digital talisman I intuitively choose for your unique goals, strengths, and challenges as a Love-Witch. The talismans are my original art painted in trance, and I magically activate them. You receive yours as a JPEG by email. (I retain full copyright of my art. Commercial use of the piece is available at additional cost.)

Here is one of the talismans, called “Silly Dragon Hiding.” Its detail is blurred a bit by this site’s download process. Your talisman will be clearer:
sillydragonsmI will email you a description of your talisman’s specific powers, along with instructions to receive the symbol’s blessings almost effortlessly.

Individually, cost of these three services would add up to $380. I reduced your price to $300.

Pay securely with PayPal. Two options:

Use the Pay Now button to send me the $300. You don’t need a PayPal account.





Or use the Subscribe button to make two automatic monthly payments of $150. Payments appear on the credit card associated with your PayPal account. This option is available if you have a PayPal account.





For more info, or to discuss scholarship, partial scholarship, or trade, call 814-337-2490. I do not discuss this work by email. Refunds unavailable.

No experience needed. But adepts are deeply impacted.

Again, spiritual transmissions start November 28, so register now.

Love Witches can be considered the Old Ones. Here is my poem We Are the Old Ones:

We’re the Old Ones—ancient as forests—born into Gaia again
to continue our work and our joy.

We’re dreamers wanting to make a positive difference
by bringing love—and more love—everywhere
our free spirits wander.

We’re the Fey children of Mother Earth
who believe magic infuses
every aspect of Her being and all Her children.

We know Her gentle magics
are as powerful as flashy, overt magics.
We embrace both.

We know a flower found by the roadside
can be a transformative gift to a friend.

We’re the ones who defend
Gaia’s children from being harmed.

We’re the ones who speak up
to protect the defenseless.

We try to make our thoughts and actions
reflect the Goddess’ love.

We take care of people around us,
both those we know well
and those who pass through our lives.

We might do the above things poorly sometimes,
but they’re central to our lives:
we bring love, gentleness, and compassion to the world.
So mote it be.

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Book of Shadows

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My Fey kin,

Announcing a two-volume Third Road Book of Shadows:

* consisting of two PDF ebooks,

* every page ornamented by my full color shamanic art.

SmBanrFull price for this two-volume Faerie Book of Shadows is $50. Buy it at the special price of $43.

This is easy traditional witchery with substance: Pagan liturgy, inspirational contemplations, prayer,
mystical musings, and other straightforward magics help you live free and create your destiny.

The books aren’t like my texts that require committing to a training. You can think of some of these Book of Shadows entries as relaxed strolls through Fey landscapes. Entries vary in length. Some are a few words, like a quick visit I hope makes you smile … or even giggle mischievously.

I believe these otherworldly moments, which access Third Road shamanism, add beauty, inspiration, and enchantment to the reader’s life.

This project is a deeply personal sharing—intimate glimpses into both my private Faerie journey and my day as a shamanic guide.

Total pages of the two PDFs is 191 pages. My original shamanic art blesses every page, so mote it be!

Book I is The Third Road: a Faerie Shaman’s Book of Shadows. Its magic overflows into Book II: Trickster, with more Third Road Book of Shadows entries, including my pivotal 4000 word essay about trickster energy.

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Trickster is usually portrayed as a conniving deity or person who perpetuates cruel jokes for our own good. The essay details how this is an erroneous view that squelches freedom.

I have an unusual view of trickster. The essay introduces you to the Trickster who’s neither cruel nor conniving. In a kind manner, she opens the door to freedom and joy. This trickster energy betters my private Fey life and work as a shamanic guide in ways not generally considered the sacred clown’s role, even in modern Pagan culture.

You meet the innocent—and often Divine Feminine—Faerie Trickster from whom all powers and joys spring. Divine Feminine Trickster is explicitly discussed in the essay a tiny bit and is implied in all its words.

I share this previously unpublished Trickster material after so many years because it’s pivotal to the immensely effective magic and enchanted Fey qualities people experience in the Third Road tradition of witchcraft.

Below is a sample page. It is not crisp and clear like the actual e-books because this website blurs images. Ditto the books’ covers.

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I set a low price for high value, because I want you able to acquire an enchanted treasure.

If you cannot afford the set: I’m exploring options for low-income folks. More about that in a newsletter.

This set is two digital ebooks: PDFs with all original art by the author. Available only from the author here:
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I decided against selling my last few books on Amazon. This is challenging, but some texts need independence. I sell them directly to my beautiful readers and fulfill orders personally.

From my Fey heart to yours,
Francesca De Grandis aka Outlaw Bunny

Spirit Doll

SpiritDoll1Sometimes our friends/clients don’t need “help,” even if we have skills capable of creating positive change for those we serve. Sometimes we serve a person best by investing our skill set in honoring them—and their circumstances—exactly as they are.

Here’s an example. I know someone who’s suffered extraordinary difficulties for years. I foolishly wanted to meddle—”save” her. I wanted to give her spiritual healings. I wanted to teach her shamanic exercises to become stronger. I wanted to show her abilities she doesn’t know she has. I wanted to make a protective amulet to ward off negative energy around her. I wanted to, I wanted, I wanted. None of it was what she wanted … or needed.

Mind you, everything I longed to do for her is perfect for many of my clients. And could be perfect for her at another time.

But the following is what I did. I made her a totem. As I chose objects for it, I let go of what I thought was “right” for her. Instead, I selected items to honor and celebrate who she already is.

The totem’s sole purpose (oh my, voice-recognition translated that as “soul purpose”) was to represent how wonderful she is. I completely let go of all other agendas. That included releasing the thought that her experience of my celebration might empower her to make changes I felt could help her with her struggles. She knows best, not me.

So there’s a long bone bead with stars in it, because if anybody has stars in her bones, it’s this woman. The wood is European Elder—sambucus nigra—and is a piece so young that it’s mostly soft, spongy pulp—fragile, as are we all. Its youth also gives it a wondrous sensitivity like my friend’s, and a gentle, subtle, yet dynamic magic that my friend has. The ladybug portrays another aspect of that.

SpiritDoll2

Three luminescent cobalt beads represent the mysteries she lovingly serves. A bead that is probably tiger’s eye and one that is probably goat horn represent how down-to-earth she is; she modestly infuses sacredness into her daily mundane responsibilities, though they are immense and humble.

A purple bead symbolizes the beauty of her spirit and the beauty she gifts people around her. A leaf indicates her care of Gaia’s children. I made the wool bead on top because … well, she’ll know why. And I had to add something sparkly because she is Fey.

At some point in its creation, this wall-hanging chose to be a doll. (Heh, a wall-doll.) So I spun yarn (which I felted a bit to help it set, since its winding wouldn’t be held tight by a weaving or the like) to shape the body.

Is “totem doll” an actual term? … This totem doll represents her spirit. … The term “spirit doll” is popular nowadays. … I could call it a “poppet,” because that’s a term for a doll used in magic. Not that I expect my friend to do spells with this, unless she wants to, but this doll was used magically in that I blessed it. And to play with words, “poppet” is a traditional term of endearment; making this artifact was an expression of love.

SpiritDoll3Creating the poppet was an unexpected gift to myself: I no longer need to fret about someone I hold dear. Affirming some of this woman’s wonderful attributes reminded me she has many other amazing powers, so needs no rescuer; she has every resource she needs within her, including the ability to ask for help when she requires it.

In case someone reads this post as an either/or proposition: I do not usually choose between helping friends/clients create positive change and honoring them exactly as they are. Most of the time, serving them both ways is beneficial.

Facilitating shifts they want in themselves and in their lives is a more respectful process if I also mirror back to them, in word, visual art, or ritual, their beauty and power—including that which is hidden to most eyes and that which they do not even see themselves.

It feels important to mention this sort of mirroring and affirming of those around us can require as much skill, thoughtfulness, and magic as does helping them make changes. For example, I have the psychic ability to see the beauty and power in people, even if they cannot.

Why is it important to mention the skills involved? Because people with lots of skills for creating change can feel frustrated when they can’t use those abilities for someone they care about. But you can apply your gifts another way—to honoring someone just as they are—and accomplish something vitally important. People need to be respected for who they already are. People need to be fully met right where they are.

Sometimes trying to “help” someone robs them of dignity. If instead, we honor them as they follow whatever path they choose, achieve victories that are important to them (as opposed to victories you think they need to gain), make the mistakes they need to make, and explore the parts of themselves they think vital to explore, we give an invaluable respect. That respect is also known as “love.” So mote it be.

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Upcoming Seven-Week Ritual

Witch Power, Ancestors, and Past Lives:
A Seven-Week Faerie Ceremony to Strengthen Our Magic and Our Hearts
This group will meet by teleseminar aka a group meeting by phone.

Our DNA is made of stardust, so magic fills every cell of our bodies. In our veins, ancestors’ blood flows, coursing back to the fiery explosion that created all existence. That dynamic creative power to manifest anything is within us. It is the Old Magic.

MyWebmaster2012SmIn this ritual, we will:

* Heal ancestors and be aligned with them, making our witchcraft and mundane acts powerful. (If you have reasons to avoid ancestors in your specific lineage, there are still ways to do this part of the rite.)

* Heal from centuries of stardust DNA being refuted and suppressed.

* Claim our stardust DNA, casting off confused doubt about our fey essence and gaining confident clarity about being innately magical.

* Heal trauma from past lives.

* Regain the enchanted power and beauty of past lives.

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The above photo is of my mom, may she rest in peace. Her witch blood flows in me, telling me I’m a Goddess. We’re each a God, descendant of the Faerie race. This ritual helps us access our Divine power. The Old Ways can be fully embraced.

This ritual empowers both novices and adepts.

This event is a Faerie Druid rite and a prerequisite for advanced Third Road Druidic training.

Nuts and Bolts:
* These are group meetings by phone. To participate, just dial the phone from anywhere.
* Class meets seven consecutive Thursdays, from 6:00 to 7:00 pm EST, starting Thursday September 15.
* Reserve Nov 3, same time, for a makeup class in case I’m unavailable for one of the planned sessions.
* Tuition: $250. Your usual long-distance charges apply, and appear on your phone bill. The event’s area code is a U.S. #.
* Enroll securely using PayPal. Sign up for “Special Event” at http://www.outlawbunny.com/special-events-registration/
* Upon receipt of payment, your place is reserved, and event phone #, etc., emailed to you. If you need more info, or want to discuss scholarship, trade, or payment plan, call me at 814-337-2490. No refunds.

ScrollBarHThe Old Gods promise freedom:
we have the right to
an enchanted, fulfilling life,
ease in our steps,
wildness in our hearts,
health in our bodies,
and trust of our beautiful fey souls.
This is a witch’s freedom.
Find it,
celebrate it,
live it: click here to attend the Witch Power ceremony.