Fairy Secrets

What Does “Fairy Secrets” Mean?

What Are “Fairy Secrets”?

“Fairy Secrets” refers to mystical experiences that miraculously transform a person and their life.

Explaining the difference between Fairy Secrets and other transformative mysticism is difficult. Mystical experiences tend to be indescribable. But my heart recognizes Fey qualities. And it’s not important to state, “This is Fey, and that is not.” In fact, that can cause you trouble. What matters is transformations, respect for otherworldly experiences, and the power they give us to take care of ourselves and Gaia’s children.

By serving others, I don’t mean you have to give other people those experiences. There are other magical ways to help. And help does not have to be magical. Serving others might mean making chicken soup for a sick neighbor. Or patiently listening to a friend who needs to vent. Or helping save a forest. Head in the clouds, feet on the ground. One reason we are gifted otherworldly experiences is because they inspire us to care for ourselves and others. This includes worldly care.

Here’s another way to look at it:

Fairy Gods Give Us Miracles

Fairy Secrets are magic spells cast by the Fairy Queen, King, and Their court to help us out. The spells cause otherworldly events that bring miraculous changes. They can be called “miraculous” because they’re beyond a human’s usual power to create. Or they might have otherwise seemed impossible.

What to Do After the Fairy Gods Give You a Miracle

Often, the changes are permanent, if you nurture them.

Here are some suggestions for nurturing them:

* If the mystical experience provided a spiritual breakthrough, try to maintain spiritual practices.
* If there was a magical breakthrough, try to keep improving and using your magic.
* Serve others. This also helps stop magic from becoming addictive escapism instead of a healthy tool.

What Kind of Change
Can a Fairy Secret Give You?

A Fairy Secret can create freedom from an inner and/or outer restriction that limited you severely and was impossible to overcome previously. The limit might’ve been emotional, societal, or other. It might have existed your entire life.

A person might acquire joy, magic, confidence, money, and fulfillment that everyone, including themselves, said was impossible.

Fairy Secrets Are Not Arrogant Dogmas

I cannot tell you how often I have counseled an individual who was devastated by an arrogant Witch teacher:

A teacher who fosters colonizer culture insists that only a special few can receive and bestow Fairy Secrets. Dogma!

Fairy Secrets are not passwords, whispered to a select few who gate-keep magical power.

Those few usually boast about Fairy Secrets. If they were true Secrets, the boasts would make them vanish.

Those few hurt themselves. Arrogance and dogma close the heart and path to Fairy Secrets. This is another reason that proclaiming, “This is Fey, and that is not” is a problem.

Fairy Secrets Are Not Ideas

Logical words cannot convey Fairy Secrets. Mysteries transcend fixed definitions. However, the Mysteries can be experienced, during major rituals and at significant life crossroads.

Music, poetry, dance, painting, etc., can point us toward Fey Mysteries.

Please note: I don’t usually consider Mysteries and Secrets to be synonymous. I am using them synonymously here. I will point out exceptions. Or context will make them obvious.

Fairy Secrets Are Alive.
All Mysteries Are Alive

Anything alive is ever-shifting. Magic changes from precious, unique moment to moment. Magic is a science with fixed rules, but so is meteorology, and the weather changes from day to day and place to place. Colonizer culture teaches us that everything is fixed, repeatable, and unvarying. Colonizer culture is death culture.

Shamanic culture is the opposite. Understanding life’s constant mutability allows us to see the precious, unique moment.

So, let’s say I experience a Mystery that brings me deep deep inside myself and/or other realms, within moments. And thus I am completely in touch with my power and my life goal. I have been given a wonderful gift. However, it is not an object to gain and own forever. It was a moment in time and requires follow-through. There are many ways that a vision can go wrong afterwards.

For example, I have encountered people who thought their remarkable vision made them superior to other people. Or who used their visions to invalidate mystical experiences unlike their own. Their made themselves and others miserable. This is another reason that “This is Fey, and that is not” is problematic.

Amazing visions are actually quite common. The measure of a person is what they do after a vision. (Sometimes, a mystical experience can go wrong right then and there. That’s beyond the scope of this essay, but feel free to contact me if you need help.)

A Fairy Secret Is Not the Ultimate Goal,
But a Step along Life’s Road

A Witch teacher who buys into colonizer culture tells their students that once you have “the” Fairy Secrets, you have reached the ultimate goal.

In traditional Fairy Witchcraft, experiencing a Fairy Secret is not the end of the road, but a step along it.

We can’t rest on our laurels.

Fairy Secrets are part of life, not excluded to a single moment during which a hierarchical Witch sits on their high horse and deigns to bestow a Mystery.

More about Fairy Secrets as Living Mysteries

The living breath of a Fairy Secret is suffocated by dogma and the arrogant use of words. Fairy Secrets are not specific spellings of occult words, a rule about how to pronounce words, or other dogma. Those who try to trap Mysteries in verbal and prescriptive boxes limit their experiences.

The Fey Folk don’t care whether someone calls them Fairy, Faerie, Faery, or Fred. But they avoid people with arrogant pretensions. … Well, kind and good Fey avoid pretentious people. Evil Fey will gather to harm them.

Finding Fairy Secrets Requires Freedom

Freedom and loving support open a path to Mysteries.

A so-called Fairy Secret that is part of a dogmatic oppressive lesson does not change life for the better. At best, it is a temporary fix.

This is not to say that you cannot learn magical techniques that help you experience Fey Mysteries.

Mysteries Vanish Until You Need Them Again

Here, when I use the word Mystery, I’m not referring to Fairy Secrets alone. When we enter a Mystery, we receive Divine guidance about our challenges and life path. Obstacles clear. Fairy Secrets lovingly surround you, centering you in your magical, miraculous, Fey, self.

If we discover a Mystery that will sustain us through a lifetime, the sustenance will likely come and go. Even if we intellectually remember the Mystery, its vibrancy comes and goes. And it is that vitality that sustains us.

Instead of that lifelong Mystery, I suspect we are just as likely to experience one we need solely to take the immediate steps toward a life goal. Then we receive only the guidance and power that we need in the moment.

The Gods Give Different Fairy Secrets
to Different Witches

Fairy Witches might have Fairy Secrets in common, but everyone has their own as well. In traditional Fairy Witchcraft, what is healthy and profound for one Witch might be unhealthy and harmful for another. Or at least a time-wasting, wild goose chase that derails you from reaching your heart’s desire. So the Fey Gods reveal different things to different people. Fairy Secrets enchant you and your life to provide what you need.

Fairy Secrets and Witch Teachers

A teacher can lead you toward the Fairy Mysteries. You can also find the Secrets on your own.

Going it alone is better than having a teacher who thinks their classes are the sole path to Mysteries. Ditto a teacher who thinks you need to receive all wisdom from them.

A good teacher recognizes that you have your own wisdom. And they surely do not think that their classes are the sole door to miracles.

A good teacher is invaluable support. They can make meeting a Fairy Secret likelier and safer. A mystical experience powerful enough to create a miraculous change can have pitfalls. A teacher can help you avoid them during the experience. After it, a good teacher offers follow-up lessons to avoid problems and maintain the improvement. Again, Fairy Secrets are not the end goal. They are steps in the process of building better lives for ourselves and all of Gaia’s children.

Pointing to Fairy Secrets

A good Fairy Witchcraft teacher points to Secrets, provides techniques to find them, and opens paths, instead of spelling Secrets out. Again, Mysteries are not theoretical explanations. Directing a student’s attention, providing techniques, and opening paths empowers them, because they have to do their part of the work. No one can hand you a Fairy Secret.

That is one reason that rituals can be remarkably effective. In my classes, you don’t have to listen to me drone on theoretically. I lead experiential rituals. They are transformative beauty—ecstatic mysticism that can make worldly and spiritual dreams come true. This paragraph relates not just to Fairy Secrets but also to ongoing miraculous shifts that are part of an enchanted life.

A few individuals wanted me to hand them a Mystery, doing all the work for them, instead of guiding them to their own experience. They were disappointed in my rituals.

There is one way I kind of hand my students Fairy Secrets: During my classes, I give spiritual transmissions as well as lead rituals. However, the recipient still has to do their part. You might think of it like this:

I help people tune into other realms, through rituals I channel and spiritual transmissions. And everyone has to do their part.

It is usually a few simple things, such as having an open mind. And willingness to be in a spiritual and magical process, instead of thinking like a consumer who is acquiring an object.

It is not that I demand that anyone to do anything. For example, you decide whether you will join in a chant. However, simply being in a ritual or magic class might feel silly to someone. If they risk feeling foolish and bear their discomfort, it can give way to childlike delight that makes magic bloom. Risking foolishness is one of the few simple acts needed to open to Fairy Secrets and other miracles during my events.

Fairy Secrets: The Fairy Queen’s breath lightly on my eyes with the Fey King’s kiss on my forehead enchanted everything.—Francesca De Grandis

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Fairy Witch, Francesca De Grandis, is the bestselling author of Be a Goddess!. She is also a star-drenched dragon, lucky charm, star-child, and full-time community Witch for forty years. She uses magic to fight colonizer culture and help wild hearts thrive, in long-distance classes, psychic readings, and healings. Her Goddess spirituality embraces practical magic. Trained from birth in a Shamanic family tradition, her Witchcraft is blessed by ancestors. Her Fairy Witchcraft is also called Faerie Shamanism. European Witchcraft has traditionally been Shamanic for many practitioners. Francesca developed Shamanic theories, methods, and rituals that have been a seminal influence on modern Paganism and alternative spirituality.

Ethical (and Unethical) Fey Teachers

Info about December 2020 update is at bottom of post.

Eagle with Iris in Great Darkness, OutlawBunny.

Ethical (and Unethical) Fey Teachers

Overview: Fey Folk can help us find freedom and joy. But there are evil Fairies, too—the Unseelie. They want to hurt humans. Some witch teachers work with the Unseelie. Honor your wild heart, but stay safe.

Fey Folk Can Help Us Find Freedom, Joy, and Magic

For hundreds of years, fairy glimmers in the woods have beckoned, reflecting our secret longings and illuminating our honest needs. Puritanical moralists insist the Fey are undeniably evil. However, we know better: the Good Folk can help free us from repressive religions and absurd social strictures. (Good Folk is another name for Fairies.) In addition, when we are barraged by a logic that denies magic and miracles, that fairy glimmer reassures us, telling us that mysticism is real and that the wondrous is possible.

But not all dwellers of the fairy realms are beneficent.

The Seelie Queen, Unseelie Queen, and Evil Magicians

For our purposes, this oversimplified definition of Seelie and Unseelie works well:

The Faery Queen (Fairy Queen, Faerie Queen…) is also known as the Seelie Queen and Her court known as the Seelie court. She and Her Seelie want to help us. They devote Themselves to that … when they are not off having a great time dancing, singing, and otherwise carrying on. … And even their joyful activities ring through the cosmos blessing us. However, there is an Unseelie Court–Fairies who are evil. The Unseelie Queen and her followers malevolently perpetuate great tragedy for humans.

And not all fey-touched magicians can be trusted, whether they call themselves Fey, Fay, Fae, Faerie, Feri, Fairy, or Faery.

Fulfill Your Longing and Stay Safe

Sate your hunger for luminous mystery and faerie mysticism, and for the fellowship thereof. However, it’s easy for that ferocious appetite, authentic and important though it is, to blind a person to the following: some individuals with immense glamour and fey power are pawns of the Unseelie Court. Perhaps this happens because power has made them so haughty that they are unwitting dupes for the forces of evil. Or perhaps they themselves become outright evil. Whatever the reason, it does happen.

Silence allows it to continue. I will not tolerate Fey practitioners who molest children, sexually harass students, disregard magical safety, and offer flashy curriculums that lack a moral compass strong enough to withstand the rigors of daily life. That lack of compass leaves many students frustrated and miserable for years because they’re working hard to grow without sufficient measures to guide them toward real spiritual progress. I’m available by phone if you’re concerned about yourself or a friend. I want to support newbies to the community—because they might be especially vulnerable—or anyone else who needs support.

Honor Your Wild Heart and Protect It

Francesca De Grandis, May 2012

While many cautions against the fey realms can be rightly interpreted as disguised attempts to suppress us, and to make us milquetoast, there are valid cautions. Dark mysteries needn’t be an excuse for a teacher to dominate. Wild hearts don’t mean that a teacher can ignore your sexual boundaries. Powerful magic needn’t lack caution. The quest for utter fulfillment needn’t lead to hollow longings or addiction.

There are dark mysteries that are wholesome, wildness that is authentic, satiation that is both attainable and ethical. Powerful magic can be safe. Fey fellowship, wild lovers, and powerful teachers can be both otherworldly and good. I hope you find them all.

If your Faerie heart resonates with what you read on this site, I invite you to my events. My newsletter will let you know about upcoming events, including free monthly Fey rituals via teleseminar or Zoom. Click the banner below to subscribe.

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Update: December 2020 I expanded on my above essay for clarity. I posted it on this site in 2012 and, before that, in 2008, to friends in a now defunct Yahoo forum. Sadly, the problems addressed by the post continue and happen to both newbies and longtime time witches. However, we can stop this. So mote it be!