Ethical (and Unethical) Fey Teachers

Info about December 2020 update is at bottom of post.

Eagle with Iris in Great Darkness, OutlawBunny.

Ethical (and Unethical) Fey Teachers

Overview: Fey Folk can help us find freedom and joy. But there are evil Fairies, too—the Unseelie. They want to hurt humans. Some witch teachers work with the Unseelie. Honor your wild heart, but stay safe.

Fey Folk Can Help Us Find Freedom, Joy, and Magic

For hundreds of years, fairy glimmers in the woods have beckoned, reflecting our secret longings and illuminating our honest needs. Puritanical moralists insist the Fey are undeniably evil. However, we know better: the Good Folk can help free us from repressive religions and absurd social strictures. (Good Folk is another name for Fairies.) In addition, when we are barraged by a logic that denies magic and miracles, that fairy glimmer reassures us, telling us that mysticism is real and that the wondrous is possible.

But not all dwellers of the fairy realms are beneficent.

The Seelie Queen, Unseelie Queen, and Evil Magicians

For our purposes, this oversimplified definition of Seelie and Unseelie works well:

The Faery Queen (Fairy Queen, Faerie Queen…) is also known as the Seelie Queen and Her court known as the Seelie court. She and Her Seelie want to help us. They devote Themselves to that … when they are not off having a great time dancing, singing, and otherwise carrying on. … And even their joyful activities ring through the cosmos blessing us. However, there is an Unseelie Court–Fairies who are evil. The Unseelie Queen and her followers malevolently perpetuate great tragedy for humans.

And not all fey-touched magicians can be trusted, whether they call themselves Fey, Fay, Fae, Faerie, Feri, Fairy, or Faery.

Fulfill Your Longing and Stay Safe

Sate your hunger for luminous mystery and faerie mysticism, and for the fellowship thereof. However, it’s easy for that ferocious appetite, authentic and important though it is, to blind a person to the following: some individuals with immense glamour and fey power are pawns of the Unseelie Court. Perhaps this happens because power has made them so haughty that they are unwitting dupes for the forces of evil. Or perhaps they themselves become outright evil. Whatever the reason, it does happen.

Silence allows it to continue. I will not tolerate Fey practitioners who molest children, sexually harass students, disregard magical safety, and offer flashy curriculums that lack a moral compass strong enough to withstand the rigors of daily life. That lack of compass leaves many students frustrated and miserable for years because they’re working hard to grow without sufficient measures to guide them toward real spiritual progress. I’m available by phone if you’re concerned about yourself or a friend. I want to support newbies to the community—because they might be especially vulnerable—or anyone else who needs support.

Honor Your Wild Heart and Protect It

Francesca De Grandis, May 2012

While many cautions against the fey realms can be rightly interpreted as disguised attempts to suppress us, and to make us milquetoast, there are valid cautions. Dark mysteries needn’t be an excuse for a teacher to dominate. Wild hearts don’t mean that a teacher can ignore your sexual boundaries. Powerful magic needn’t lack caution. The quest for utter fulfillment needn’t lead to hollow longings or addiction.

There are dark mysteries that are wholesome, wildness that is authentic, satiation that is both attainable and ethical. Powerful magic can be safe. Fey fellowship, wild lovers, and powerful teachers can be both otherworldly and good. I hope you find them all.

If your Faerie heart resonates with what you read on this site, I invite you to my events. My newsletter will let you know about upcoming events, including free monthly Fey rituals via teleseminar or Zoom. Click the banner below to subscribe.

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Update: December 2020 I expanded on my above essay for clarity. I posted it on this site in 2012 and, before that, in 2008, to friends in a now defunct Yahoo forum. Sadly, the problems addressed by the post continue and happen to both newbies and longtime time witches. However, we can stop this. So mote it be!

Paper Cutting and Candle Magic

Papercutting, Horned God, FDG, 1994

I find folk art intrinsically magical. And I find the art of papercutting wondrous in and of itself: I am amazed that something as humble as an old piece of paper can be recycled—using nothing more than a pair of scissors—into an object of beauty. I just can’t get enough of it.

I may not always be good at it, but I love doing it. I’ve filled my home—and that of my friends’—with paper cuttings since the 70s, if not earlier.

I also came up with a way paper cutting can augment the power of candle magic. Here it is:

1) Choose a magical goal—e.g. love, money, confidence.

2) Choose a simple symbol or symbols of your magical goal. E.g. a heart for a love spell. I often like to do more than one spell on a candle at a time. The house blessing candle below is also in remembrance of my mom; she read playing cards; so, in addition to symbols that represent houseblessing for me, I also chose the shapes of the suits in her honor.

A House Blessing

Optional: Also add symbols you find powerful, just to add more “juice” to the spell. For example, in the cutting to the left, I added a seven pointed star.

3) Cut the symbol(s) into a piece of paper that will wrap around the glass container of a seven-day candle. Use fancy paper, plain paper, newspaper, a pretty page from a mag, whatever.

When doing this kind of papercutting, I usually am not concerned about making it fancy or artistically “right.” I might make a quick rough cutting, instead of the more laborious precise efforts I made for the above Horned God cutting. I can be a perfectionist when making that sort of cutting but, when cutting for candle magic, I usually prefer ease—to just have fun, keep it simple, unless I feel like taking time on making it ornate and “just so” visually.

4) Wrap your glass container, fastening the ends of the paper together with a bit of tape.

Be safe: Do not let the paper wrapping extend even to the lip of the glass container; do not wrap paper directly around a candle itself; do not leave a candle burning unattended.

4) Light your candle as you make a wish for your goal. That’s it! Simple, fun, powerful, and a chance to be creative.

Another example: For a money spell, I cut the word “cash” into paper. Here is the paper cutting before I wrapped it around the candle.

Below is the paper cutting for my above house blessing, laid out flat. (It is the reverse side so, being a magazine page, has entirely different print on it.)

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I hope you like my idea! If you do, please share a link to it—that would be lovely and needed support. Do not lift my idea wholesale onto your site without my permission. Play fair. Power to the people means the right to choose what is done with the fruits of your labor. And the contents of this site are under copyright. Thank you so much!

The Ecstatic Path, Serving Community, & False Ego

The Ecstatic Path, Community Service, and Arrogance

A few thoughts, May Day, 2012
Updated May, 2022

Detail from Root Woman, painting by Francesca De Grandis

Detail, Root Woman, Digital Art, Francesca De Grandis .

The occult shop I worked in during the 80s had lockers out back, behind the building. Our customers would buy candles, which we would dress (for example, anoint with magical oils), bless, and then burn in the lockers. Some customers requested candles for prosperity blessings. Some asked for healing candles. The variety of magical candles covered every imaginable situation from justice to romance.

By some standards, it was such an odd priesthood, if not utterly dismissed and invalidated. The bunch of grungy lockers with wax dripping all over them was part of something many would consider hokey, outright ridiculous. But it was the real deal—powerful magic that was of service to community.

Priesthood (ministry, service, call it what you will) takes many sincere forms. Some have more prestige than others. But whether one receives a lot of acclaim or none at all, the Gods know when the heart is filled with juicy desire to serve. This desire fuels our joy constantly. And the Gods bless such a heart with peace and happiness.

The ecstatic path I walk includes a commitment to serve.

The Gods also know when the heart is heavily burdened, made sad by a self-deceiving ego-drive to be at the top of the heap. And the Gods bless this heart, too. This compassion is sorely needed for individuals who don’t understand that service fueled by the desire for prestige and ego-feed will only get them snared by false ego, which twists their magic in knots so it works against them. Goddess help them. They can end up on a hard road! I know this because I had to learn it through personal experience.

Decades back, I went into media to serve my Gods. I’m a shy and reclusive person who did not want to be in media, I just wanted to remain in oral tradition, but my Gods insisted I also enter the media. And sometimes, working in the media, my thoughts dwelt on fame or ego. When they did, it hurt me, what a mess! Luckily, my overall reason for being in media was service, so I was able to spot my arrogance and move past it. … Well, I still am arrogant to some degree, but I imagine all humans are. As long as I remain aware of when my false ego is leading the way, and I make ongoing attempts to stop that, I think I am OK.

I am amazed at the amount of serenity to which I have become accustomed. I have noted that, when my arrogance comes alive, my serenity does not remain at the level that’s become typical of me. When serving my Gods in sincerity, Their peace flows through me to empower my work. I can have a reasonable degree of serenity and, therefore, my health is good, my abundance continues, and from my peace emerges ecstasy. So mote it be.

As to the aforementioned ego drive to be at the top of the heap, ha! There is no heap. There is only the joyous dance of life and the chance to serve within it. May all we humans learn at deeper and deeper levels to dive into life fully, not mistaking titles and pomp for ecstasy and caring. And may we always know that ecstasy and caring go hand in hand, like lovers.

Root Woman, painting by Francesca De Grandis

Root Woman, painting by Francesca De Grandis. If you’d like a limited first edition-print of this art, email me at outlawbunny at outlawbunny.com

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With its relaunch in 2012, this site was split between three servers. (I know there are other options, it’s a long and grassroots story.)

http://www.stardrenched.com is mostly for the site’s blog, events announcements, and new additions to the site’s Grimoire.

The site’s original domain remains https://people.well.com/user/zthirdrd/. Among other things, it has online Grimoire entries prior to 2012.

Way back, there wasn’t space for everything I wanted on the well.com site (my site there is ancient, started back when they were very few women on the web, and site storage space was minuscule), so some side pages got put on feri.com.

This old blog explains it a bit more.

I continue to blog at my other site, www.outlawbunny.com. Two separate blogs.

Ta Da!

Announcing the renewal and relaunch, the cosmic—and cosmically comic—revitalization of this here ol’ website. Come one, come all, join the Chaos Circus. To explore the wonders, the fantastic, the massive changes I made to this site, use the newly-added, new-fangled nav bar above. Yup, we got modern conveniences to go along with the ancient mysteries you will find here.

Stardusted Traveler, come get your weary soul shined. Have your spirit refreshed by its own beauty, then shanghaied by its own magic.

Have your peculiar ways oohed and awed at—everyone here, including you, is the main attraction.

Sit in the front row to get a good view. I’ll sit with you. Or get in the circus ring: introduce yourself in the comment field.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am the authentic, the original, the amazing and death-defying Francesca De Grandis. That translates Great Freedom, your purveyor of shamanic wonders and mystical madness. Curator of curiosities, middle management for the Chaos Gods, seer, guide, and utter fool.

I make up fancy phrases to describe myself, like bardic brat. They’re true as tar.

My mother was a fortuneteller, my father hit the road when he was 12, hard traveling. His mother was a “showgirl.” After the war, dad went down south and got into trouble. We don’t know what it was, but the story is “he hung out with hillbillies.” I do remember he loved folk music. This is all truth, it’s family history, told the first time on the web right now. I am an old woman, too old to hide those tales anymore.

That’s a bit of my tale, a bit of my myth—real and honest. Be your myth here. Dragons, Faeries, poets, and other inhabitants of the fantastic, please walk your myths alongside mine, I long for company on the spiritual path.

Tell me a bit of your story in the comment field. I welcome and invite you, praise you and incite you—Join the cosmic circus!

 On a more serious note, Terry Pratchett wrote “Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.” Ok, quoting Terry is hardly a way to convince most people that I even can be serious. But
I take my work as a shamanic guide and healer seriously, and I am good at it. And I have
fun. Walking an ecstatic path frees you from restrictive either/or rules. And building a convincing persona as Oh-Great-Shaman wouldn’t leave time to serve community. Can I hear a “So mote it be?”
Middle Management for Chaos Gods, Francesca De Grandis

Middle Management for Chaos Gods. Self-Portrait

Magic can be quiet, subtle. I am blessed that, amidst my loud joy and silliness, some people “see” me—just another flawed human whom, for some reason, the Divine uses as a shaman.

I’ll be blogging here, while I continue to blog at my other site . Two blogs with two separate RRS feeds.

As we prepped the relaunch, I started blogging here—just four blogs sharing my personal process renewing the site, and what we revamped. I hope you read them. And this blog has info that will help you find your way around.

Whether you travel with me only on the web, or move into oral tradition with me, whether you post here or I never know you visit, I’m grateful for your wild wyrd ways. Thank you so much for coming!

Please explore the site. I’d love it if you posted feedback. You will be dazzled by dancing Deities, heartfelt happenings, genuine living breathing paradox, and more.